The Start.

It wasn't the first time he had tried this, the flirtation with another. Pushing to see how far he could go, how far he would go. He said 'I just need someone to hold me till I fall asleep' and she had acquiesced.

This was the beginning. The beginning they would go back to and talk about but it had in fact started a long time before that. Before either of them were able to acknowledge it. She realised now that she had been a child then. She had thought of him often in the intervening years but never like that, never as she had in the first few months of knowing him when the longing she felt would sometimes distract her from whatever she had been tasked with doing that day. He didn't know of course, no-one did. It was just another crush, to look back now she didn't really recognise the person she was then. That girl was too young, too inexperienced, too afraid of life.

He put his forehead to her forehead and tried to nuzzle at her cheek with his nose. She wriggled away, sensing the mood change of the room had finally come to fruition. Although it had seemed inevitable it was still a shock when he made this move, a signal that things were different now. She knew it should stop here. That she should get up and go away. Leave him to feel ashamed and embarrassed for putting her in this situation but she didn't. She stayed.

'I don't think this is a good idea' she had said. 'Let's have some more wine' he had suggested.

So they drank wine and sat looking at each other, their knees touching. 'I used to be in love with you' she said, matter-of-factly 'when we first met. I thought you were the most amazing creature I'd ever encountered'
'Why didn't you say something?' he enquired, genuinely mystified.
'You were married and I never believed you'd like me that way'
He shook his head, 'you could have saved me ages ago. We've wasted so much time'

She looked at him, trying to assess whether this was just something he was saying to wear her down or whether he really meant it. Either way, it was working.

He shook a cigarette out of the packet and lit it for her. Their fingers touched as he handed it over. They both knew that now, the evening had only one conclusion. They both stood outside of themselves watching as it reached this conclusion. He stroked a stray hair behind her ear. 'Let's lay down and go to sleep' he said.

That was the start.